Laughter, The Best Medicine

2 children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd: why are you crying?
1st: I came here for blood test
2nd: So? Are you afraid?
1st: For the blood test, they cut my finger.
At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished.
1st: why are you crying now?
2nd: I have come for my urine test!

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say "there's Jennifer, she's a lawyer" or "that's Michael, he's a doctor"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out "and there's the teacher, she's dead".

LOL!!!

A dog fell in love with a female bear, and asked the bear to marry him.

Miss Bear-Bear said "I dun want, if I want to marry also marry a cat"

"But why?", asked the heart-broken dog.

"Because if I marry you, our kids will become 狗熊，I'd rather my kids are 熊猫"...

A vampire died and went to hell. Due to his good conduct in hell he was given a chance to be reincarnated.

God asked him "So, what do you want to become in your next incarnation ?"

The vampire said "I envy the angels, so clean and white, and I love their wings. But I don't want to be an angel as I can't live without blood. So dear God, could you turn me into something white, with wings, and loves sucking blood?"

"Sure, no problem!" said the God, and booooom .......... The vampire turns into a sanitary pad.....


[sorry if you all have heard of these jokes before .... ]

18SX joke

One day, a lady went to church to see a priest.

Lady: Priest, can u ask God to forgive me? i scolded a guy.
Priest : What u scolded him?
Lady : Fu*k
Priest: Why u scolded him?
Lady: He touched my breast.
Priest put his hand on the lady's breast and ask: Is is this way?
Lady: Yes!!
Priest: But u shudnt scold him.
Lady: But he lowered his hand and touch my private part.
Priest then touched the lady's private part and ask: Is it like that?
Lady: YES,it is..
Priest: But u shudnt scold him too.
Lady: He then raped me.
Priest then raped the lady and ask: Is is this way?

Lady: YES!!
Priest: But u shudnt scold him too..
Lady : Then only i realised he got AIDS
Priest: Fu*k

I have some jokes like this, but worried not appropriate to post here, sekali kena banned by mods

A famous heart specialist died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart.

When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment, one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"

"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.

"What's so funny about that?"

"I'm a gynaecologist."

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decided to clean and serve the deer meat for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters and won't eat it if they know what it is. So he doesn't tell them. His little boy, Jimmy, keeps asking him, "What's for supper dad?"

"You'll see", he replies. They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating. "OK", says the dad, "here's a hint, it's what your mother sometimes calls me."

His daughter screams........ "Don't eat, Jimmy!!!! It's an asshole!"

A medical student is taking a test and one of the questions he sees is: Name the 3 best advantages of a mother's milk.

He immediately writes:

1. it has all the healthy nutrients needed to sustain a baby.

2. it is inside the mother's body, therefore protected from germs and infections.

But he can't think of a third answer....... after much thought, he finally writes..


3. it comes in two nice containers

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

A constant statement was heard by the neighbours who feared the man the most ..... "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the res of your life!"

They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours.

He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme, and her neighbours approached in a group and asked:

"Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?

The wife put down her drink and said....

"Nah...... let the old man dig all he wants ..... I had him burried upside down."

Better speak proper English

Ah Beng was travelling in a crowded bus. As he took out his wallet to pay the fare, his passport-sized photograph accidentally fell from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically and found in on the floor, below the seams of a woman's long sari. He asked her "Can you lift up your sari? I wanna take photograph."

He was beaten up so badly, the next thing he knew, he was in the hospital bed.

Inachi, don't worry, it's funny to laugh at..The jokes are so funny...
+++++ reputation for it ^^

okie, I'll try to dig out some not so RA ones from my colleagues when I have the time.... don't know where I kept them.

here's one I find quite funny..

3 ladies were on a flight. Suddenly the pilot informed the passengers that there was a technical problem and the plane may crash into the sea.

A Chinese lady quickly took her cosmetics set out and started to doll herself up. A Malay lady beside her asked her why and she replied that if she looks beautiful, the guys coming to rescue survivors would usually save the pretty ladies first.

On hearing this, the Malay lady started to put on all her jewelleries. An Indian woman sitting beside her was curious and asked her why. The Malay lady said that rescuers would save her first because she would easily be identified by the glitter of her jewelleries.

Then the Indian woman started taking her clothes off. Both the Chinese and Malay women were shocked and asked her why.

The Indian woman replied that rescuing survivors is not the rescue teams' priority, they usually look for the "black box" first.....

Successor wrote:Inachi, don't worry, it's funny to laugh at..The jokes are so funny...
+++++ reputation for it ^^

haha.... I was wondering what reputation you were referring to, now then I realised I've got 1 reputation

xie xie ni )

anyone has jokes to share?

www.limpek.com

go n take a look at it..

wah, so long never come to this thread...

This one is from my friend, she copied from the army's forum...


I like the Way You’re Thinking

Little James was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked on him to answer a question.

“James,” she said, “if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”

“None,” replied James, “because I would shoot one and the rest would fly away.”

“Well, the answer I was looking for is four, but I like the way you are thinking.”

Then little James said, “I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?”

The teacher blushed and answered meekly, “Well, I’m not sure. I guess the one sucking the cone….”

“No,” said Little James, “it’s the one with a wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking!”

This is quite funny:

English to Chinese Translation!

ENGLISH PHRASE----------------------CHINESE TRANSLATION

Are you harboring a fugitive?--------Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me A.S.A.P.----------------------Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man---------------------------Dum Gai

Small Horse--------------------------Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high!!-------------No Bai Dam Thing!!

Did you go to the beach?-------------Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table---------Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift----------Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here---------------Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed?--------Hao Long Wei Ting?

An unauthorized execution------------Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet---------Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone---------------No Pah King

You are not very bright---------------Yu So Dum

I got this for free-------------------Ai No Pei

I am not guilty-----------------------Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer-----------Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled next week---Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived---------------------Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight---------------------Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile----------Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive-----------Hu Man Go!

Pew! does this bathroom stink!--------Hu Flung Dung?



And BTW, I won't anyhow ban people one, you know I not XXX lehs....Suppose you know who...Cause kenzhi told me before!

I can't catch these 2...


An unauthorized execution------------Lin Ching

Stay out of sight---------------------Lei Lo


any how ban people very song meh, can show your power meh? good that this forum's administrator is not like that!

when I saw duizhang's status became "guest" I was rather shocked, it reminded me of kenzhi, xH, amir...... and one gal I can't remember her nick ....... I thought how come administrators in other forums other than mcs like banning people...... grr

if I see you any how ban members, huh huh...... I'll ban myself before you ban me ..... and I'll never join any other forums other than mcs

Ohh.. by the way.... I don't like being banned unreasonably, so I deleted my account from a forum before being banned like the others

Ohs, that one cause I make yuzhi angry, then she go delete her account lor...Now okay liaos

I don't like to ban people....I ban unless the users is malicious lols..As in account created for spamming which there is now...when that time i open auto verification...

Can tell me the chinese version of these 2, I read few times still can't get it:


An unauthorized execution------------Lin Ching

Stay out of sight---------------------Lei Lo

LOL!! I have this one:

Before marriage:
She : Hi
He : Oh, I've been waiting this ...
She : You want me to go ?
He : no, Not at all
She : do you love me ?
He : of course, big time
She : you picked the wrong woman ??
He : no, why do you say that ?
She : you wanna kiss me ?
He : every time I see you !!
She : you wanna slap me ??
He : are you crazy ? never
She : can I trust you ?
He : yes
She : My love
...
after marriage
Read the same text upwards ...

hahaha... it's funny, nikki.


my colleague just sent me this, find it funny...